The Time To Create Your Dream Life Is Now

I had an extensive career as a pro.

Yes, a pro-crastinator.

I delayed starting many, many things.

• Going to the gym

• Launching a course

• Posting my first thread

• Starting an online business

• Publishing my first newsletter

• and even telling a crush I liked her

Since I had done none of those things before, I hesitated because I was afraid.

And there I would remain — in the comfortable but miserable state of hesitation.

But not for long, because the pain of non-existent progress always eventually overpowers the pain of progress.

When that happened, I would finally force myself to NIKE the thing.

The emotion that always followed next was rage.

“I procrastinated this for 8 months, but I took it down in 8 minutes. Why didn’t I start sooner?!!“

Unknown to me then, there’s a concrete reason behind why it takes most of us ages to take step 1.

That is what we’ll talk about today.

Non-Clickbaity Warning: If you read this to the end, I guarantee you’ll make more progress in 6 months than 90% of people do in 6 years.

The Hunt For Ideal Conditions

Everyone has (or once had) a goal.

But only a few achieve them.

Millions of reasons exist, but the most fundamental is the first step scaries.

The first step is frightening.

You know your location and desired destination but have no clue how to link them. This uncertainty petrifies and traps people in an unending state of comfort and misery.

Why is this so scary?

Some people think they’re afraid of failure.

Others think they’re afraid of success — the change associated with it, that is.

But the deep, underlying fear is death. People don’t want to meet their maker (yet).

“If I fail, I’ll look stupid in front of everyone, end up alone, and die.”

“If I succeed, I’ll lose all the familiarity in my life, end up alone, and die.”

While we don’t consciously think this way, our minds do. You can’t blame it. 50,000 years ago, stepping into the unknown meant almost certain game over. And since the mind hasn’t evolved in 500 centuries, it hasn’t let go of its now outdated code.

It’s also funny how the mind works.

It releases good dopamine in our brain when we set or talk about our goals.

It lights up when we plan how to achieve the goal.

But it resists the behaviour change needed to prevail.

Its resistance is also interesting. It doesn’t discourage us from pursuing the goal. Rather, it convinces us to start when certain conditions are present.

When it feels right…

When the universe gives us a sign…

When we get a tap on the back from the spirit of an ancestor…

This is a trap.

To be ready implies you do the actions needed to be ready.

The first step is taking the first step.

Stop waiting for the perfect timing. You don’t discover ideal conditions. You create them — starting from unfavourable conditions.

It’s okay to delay some projects until you’re done with current priorities. Just avoid postponing today’s priorities.

“I don’t want us to die,“ your mind might say.

But you will not die, my friend. You are intelligent. You (the self governing your body) will actually know when your life is in danger. Until then, ignore your mind’s tantrums with a smile, knowing it’s trying to protect you but you know better.

The Time Is Now

Your current self is a product of where you spent your time and attention in the past.

Your future self will be a product of where you spend your time and attention in the now.

The past is the past. I get it. You wish you did better, but don’t forget your past self actually did what they thought was best. You know better now because you once didn’t. It is this duality that adds flavour to life.

There is no light without dark.

There is no life without death.

There is no joy without sadness.

If you can’t change the situation, you can change your perception of it.

(Bonus points if it’s an empowering interpretation.)

I can’t change younger Francis’s actions, but I choose to be grateful for him.

The hours he spent reading, writing, walking, networking, and more moulded who I am today. I like who I am. Sure, I wish he did more. But that little dude did what he genuinely believed was best with his limited knowledge and resources.

I know better now.

And better isn’t sitting all day wishing my younger self did better.

Better now means doing what I believe is best for my future self — who also has a definition of “better” my current self can’t access.

It’s a never-ending flywheel, so be grateful and control the controllables.

The first block you lay to build your future self will feel like hell. You’ve never done it before, and you’ll feel like never doing it because you suck. But you’ve folded before and saw where that led you — the unmistakable feeling that you’re wasting your life. You know better now. So do and become better.

You might not feel ready, but your future self would be glad you started now.

Fun Fact: No one is ever ready.

Joe Rogan and crew had no idea how to set up their mic in episode 1. Why does no one talk about that? Everyone loves the end product, not the production. One cannot exist without the other.

Success comes from a succession of willingness to suck.

You will make mistakes.

As you should.

Mistakes are your foundation for learning.

You can’t understand what good looks like without experiencing “bad”. (Again, the duality.) The ‘bad’ feels bad, but doesn’t mean it’s bad. (Again, seize the wheel from your mind.)

Our low-quality decisions drive our high-quality decisions. So let’s knock these mistakes out (and fast) with a smile as we shrink the space between our current and higher self.

The greatest mistake of all is to avoid making mistakes.

Become Your Higher Self Now

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

Do you hear that?

It’s the sound of you NOT getting younger.

We like to think we’ll live forever, but that’s another unhealthy delusion.

(Bryan “ZERO“ Johnson will need another second to process that one.)

Death is the immovable deadline that adds value to life. Living forever cuts the pressure to act. Without it, we would still be bashing each other’s skulls with bludgeons in caves and eating the bugs.

So while Deidara from Naruto was insane, his iconic line “art is a blast” — short-lived creations are the most aesthetic — is pretty logical.

Again, you’re getting OLDer.

Competition (yes, a real thing) is surging. Those on top are climbing faster. The bottom fraggers are picking up the pace. And those who weren’t in the race now tie their laces with an eye on YOUR prize.

Then, there’s entropy — the natural order of the universe to descend into chaos.

Homes that don’t get renewed get swallowed up by the forest.

Relationships that aren’t nourished grow stale.

Teeth that don’t get brushed rotten.

If you aren’t getting better, you’re dwindling — not idling. (Oh, that rhymed.)

While it’s unhealthy for your psyche to ponder 24/7 about death, competition, and entropy, it’s a good wake-up slap for whenever you feel the urge to slack off.

The greatest use of your time is experiencing your true potential. Being mediocre sucks more than being exceptional. (It’s hard to smile while being stupid, fat, lonely, and broke.)

The pain (mental, physical, spiritual, and financial) of no progress hurts more than the pain of progress.

The pain of regret hurts more than the pain of progress.

The pain of killing yourself hurts infinite times more than the pain of progress.

(What’s worse than never realizing your potential, and knowing that the obstacle was yourself?)

Winning in every aspect of life — mind, body, spirit, and business — is ideal.

There is no other way.

But this is what you crave, right?

You want a quick-witted mind and the power to influence others with ease.

You want the most aesthetic body and unexpendable energy.

You want to have an unending amount of fulfilment in your life.

You never want your heart to race because of a lack of money.

The time to get it is now.

Step 1: Visualise Your Vision (for direction and filtration)

What do you want to do before you die?

Without awareness of this, you’re a feather in the wind. Foundationless. Aimless. And helpless — you can’t help yourself and can’t ask for support because you don’t know what you want.

Some questions to help you shape your vision:

1. What do I want to achieve before I die?

2. What is my ideal day? (Down to the minutes)

3. What is my ideal job?

4. What do I want to look like?

5. What is my ideal environment?

6. Who do I want as my ideal spouse/partner?

   i. What are their values?

   ii. What are their curiosities?

   iii. What are their capacities?

   iv. How do they make me better? (And vice versa.)

   v. Do they genuinely root for me?

7. Kids? How many do I want? What values do I want to instil in them until they’re ready to create their own path?

PS: If you’re unclear of what you want (from imagination), itemise what you don’t want (from observation) and reverse it to discover what you want.

It’ll take time to fill this up, but you’ll enjoy each second.

Write and paste these somewhere you’ll always see. It will be your permanent repellant for low motivation.

Step 2: Hierarchy of Goals (for clarity)

Your dream — what you created in the last section — will get you out of bed excited. But it alone won’t get you the success you desire. The sheer volume of your goals and the lack of clarity to get to them might discourage instead of inspire you.

Video games are addictive because they have a hierarchy of levels, making the objective clear and progress tangible.

Create a hierarchy of goals using these prompts:

• 1-lifetime goals

• 1-decade goals

• 1-year goals

• 1-quarter goals

• 1-month goals

• 1-week goals

• 1-day goals

• 1-moment goals

“I want to be 1/4th of my potential,” says no one ever. Yet, people only fill their goals with business ambitions.

To become all you desire, create a hierarchy and cultivate every aspect of your life.

• Mind

• Body

• Spirit

• Business

Step 3: Action (for practicality)

Winners and Losers have goals.

But only winners win because they pull at least one lever daily towards their goals.

What steps must you take daily to make it unreasonable not to reach your goal?

If you don’t have an idea, research.

If you’ve researched, plan.

If you’ve planned, execute.

If you’re executing, don’t stop.

Ensure your work matches your passions and skills to truly enjoy it.

Want to make money? There are many routes to take, so choose the path you have a strong affinity for.

If you like words, make money as a writer.

If you like numbers, make money as a coder.

If you like working with people, make money as a coach.

The secret to getting things done is to make it easy and enjoyable to do.

Understanding yourself and leaning into your eccentricities is the secret to success you’ve been scouring for.

To succeed, however, you need to take a succession of actions. This is where a routine comes in.

Step 4: Routines

You need a routine.

Most people hate routines because they are restricting.

This is fair because most of us are products of the heinous school system that treated us like prisoners; made to sit in rows, raise our hands to speak, and obey each bell or risk punishment. Of course, routines remind us of that awful experience.

But a self-generated routine doesn’t confine you. It liberates you. It blocks each hour of your day to support your goals.

Without one, you’re under time’s control. With one, you control time.

Some guidelines:

• 8-9 hours for sleep

• 4-6 hours for deep focused work

• 2 hours for high-intensity exercise or a simple walk

• Use the rest of the day to read, eat, rest, and build relationships

Aim for effectiveness, but don’t forget to make it fun too.

Step 5: Deadlines

When the going gets tough, the tough needs a deadline to keep going.

Without a stake, the movie is boring.

Without a deadline, life is boring.

People complain about stress like it’s a bad thing. Well, societal-imposed (tactless) stress is unhealthy. But self-imposed (tactical) stress isn’t. It’s healthy.

A deadline is a medium for imposing stress on yourself to make progress.

Bonus points if you have something to lose if you don’t follow through.

Example: Write 1,000 words daily for 90 days or pay {insert gigantic sum of money} to {insert person or company you hate}.

Step 6: Reward

Most people aren’t consistent because they don’t appreciate themselves.

Habits that get rewarded get repeated. Video games are irresistible because they reward you before, while, and after playing.

You can do the same too. You don’t have to spend money to reward yourself, too.

Showering yourself with compliments or calling a friend to tell you how exceptional you are — because you are — works.

Watching a movie you’ve kept yourself from or exploring uncharted territory on a walk checks out too.

Even if you do these things without working first, setting the rule to work before the reward will prime your mind to comply.

But since your mind can make you swipe the treat before you deserve it, it’s a good idea to have someone gatekeep your reward until you’ve been a good boy or girl.

Step 7: Tracking

Your level of motivation is proportional to your level of belief.

But it’s hard to be motivated when there’s nothing to show for your efforts.

Most people burn out because of this.

Video games keep gamers saying “one more game“ for hours because they can always visualise their progress. Health status, exp points, and competition positions are visible to gamers. No wonder so many have a video game addiction.

While there is no scoreboard hovering above our heads in real life, we can manufacture one.

• Pull out a blank sheet of paper

• List each day of this month, starting from today.

• Mark any date you work on.

• Don’t miss twice

The longer your streak, the thicker your motivation, because losing hurts more than gaining.

Snapchat has a vibrant user base for this reason. No. One. Wants. To. Lose. Their. Snap. Streak.

Step 8: Reflection

How can you improve what you don’t crosscheck?

Yet almost very few people do this.

Self-improvement is impossible without self-reflection.

Tracking keeps you going. Reflection keeps you growing.

At the end of my days, I take a reflective walk.

Some questions I ask:

• What am I most grateful for today?

• How many goals did I complete?

• Why so high/low?

• What did I learn today?

• Which part of my day brought the most joy?

• What do I want to do tomorrow?

It’s time.

It’s time to make your predecessors proud.

It’s time to make your people proud.

It’s time to make your progeny proud.

And above all, it’s time to make your future self proud.

Enjoy the rest of your day, player.

— Francis