How to overcome ANY fear

“H-Hi. M-My name is F-Francis O-Oleh.”

I probably muttered those words on the night I did the impossible:

Speak on a live stage.

Public speaking is the world's #1 fear, so I bet you’re thinking: “Wow, Francis, way to go doing what 72-75% of the population is afraid of.”

But what if I tell you I wasn’t speaking on an actual stage but a virtual one?

And what if I tell you I wasn’t even on video?

Yes, my friend. The dude behind these words got the Heebie Jeebies from just putting his voice online.

This happened two years ago, but it feels like yesterday.

I was a small creator back then, willing to do anything to attract more eyeballs to my profile.

• Messaging creators I admired

• Commenting like a madman under viral posts

• Joining group chats where my target audience lived

• And jumping into every Twitter space within my niche

I did it all.

I was HIM.

But I didn’t feel like HIM that night.

I was in a Twitter space. The topic was fascinating, and the speakers blew me away with so much value. Filled with gratitude, I felt a powerful urge to add my thoughts to the conversation. This would help me knock off two birds with one stone: making the space more educative and attracting new, engaged followers.

So when I heard the host tell the listeners to request the mic if they had contributions, I was thrilled and terrified.

Thrilled because everything was going to plan.

Terrified because I had never spoken in a space before.

And this wasn’t my first rodeo.

Before that night, I had been in countless Twitter spaces, excited to contribute, but I never did because I feared the listeners would judge me like ‘she’ did.

But this night was definitely the night.

I was tired of disappointing myself. So, when it was my turn to speak, I stepped up and delivered what I believe was the worst speech of all time.

I stuttered, shivered, and almost shat my pants.

But despite how terrible my first time was, I felt a deep feeling of bliss. I had done it! I slayed the beast and realised it wasn’t as awful as I envisioned.

I felt even more fulfilled after I heard the host shower me with praises for my contribution.

They probably only did that to stroke my ego instead of telling me how I actually sounded, but I was too proud of myself then to entertain bad vibes.

So the streak began!

Over the next three weeks, I bunny-hopped from one space to another, speaking about topics within my domain of interest.

I was still anxious each time I spoke, but I felt my nerves lessen after each space.

Eventually, the idea of hosting my own spaces popped up. So I messaged a handful of homies, and together, we set up a team of 12 called the IM (Internet Marketing) Summit. Every week for three months, we had one to three spaces around the world of Internet Marketing before we disbanded (as most groups do).

But my Twitter Space Speaking Tour was just getting started.

Later, I hosted big guests with 100,000+ followers and even helped Chris Do from TheFutur reach 100,000 Twitter followers LIVE in my space.

In just 9 months, I went from speaking in my first space to 100 people to speaking in 60+ spaces to 100,000+ people. This attracted me 30% of the 50,687 followers I added in 2022, many thousands of dollars, and, surprisingly, a new passion.

Today, my friends, family, and acquaintances often tell me I have an exceptional voice. Unbeknownst to them, I almost didn’t unleash it.

So why did I fear speaking initially?

And why do most people shy away from their fears?

I never understood either of these questions, but now I do.

So let’s talk about it.

My friends, I have a massive update.

Over the last 2.5 years, I’ve attracted a 108,200+ following, connected with many like-minded individuals (including some of your heroes), and built a profitable living from purposeful living — aka doing work that feels like play.

Sometimes, comparing where I am now to where I was a quarter of a decade ago feels surreal.

Then, I had no purpose, no friends, and no income.

But now, I’m living the life my 8-year-old self would be proud of.

If you were me, I bet you’d love to travel back in time to help your younger self get to where you are now quicker. However, time machines don’t yet exist.

But mentors do.

You can’t currently learn from your future self, but you can learn from someone who has the results you desire for your future self. So, if you visualise your future self turning their ideas to impact and income, you’ll love what’s coming soon.

In a few weeks, I’m launching the Paid To Play Challenge — an 8-week cohort in which I’ll show you exactly what I did to build my digital identity (brand) and a business that allows me to get paid to do what I love.

There will only be 60 slots, so stay tuned to my upcoming letters for updates.

I hope to see you inside.

The Ultimate Fear

All fear stems from the fear of death.

Most people don’t want to meet their maker yet.

So, as a result, they fear everything that leads to their ultimate fear.

The unfortunate thing about this philosophy is that it inadvertently kills most people prematurely.

You can only truly live when you are not afraid to die.

When you are not afraid to die, your likelihood to take risks surges.

Taking risks — synonymous with pushing your perceived limits and discovering what you’re capable of — makes life an exhilarating experience.

But since most people never explore life outside their self-created walls, they slowly expire in a bubble of comfort, mediocrity, and misery. They live every day doing the same mundane things and look back at their lives from their deathbed, pondering what the purpose of their lives even was until their heartbeat monitor stops beating.

This is what you should actually be afraid of.

The Mindset Shift That Earned Me The Monicker: “Fear-Facing” Francis

Fear represents two things.

• Danger to your conceptual existence (identity)

• Danger to your actual existence

Unfortunately, it’s almost impossible to know immediately if our fears are for our conceptual preservation or our actual well-being.

Most feminine women don’t seem to have this problem because they can quickly tell actual danger from conceptual danger with their intuition.

But for the rest of us who lack this luxury, the only way to distinguish between the two is via the old-school trial-and-error process.

And terrifies most people away into inaction.

Including me.

I didn’t want to speak on that Twitter space that night because 4 years prior, my high school homeroom teacher (the ‘she’ I mentioned earlier) mocked my voice.

Growing up, my vocal cords were a mismatch for my size. I was 5’ 7, 47 kg (103 lbs), with no facial hair but with the deepest voice amongst my peers. This wasn’t auto-tuned or intentional. I just had a thick voice. I had a stone-cold voice even before I even grew pubic hair!

So, soon after she made the comment on my voice, I subconsciously started speaking less.

In hindsight, my teacher didn’t actually insult me. She teased me. But I was hypersensitive then and ignorant of the fact that women typically don’t say what they mean, so… yeah.

The mind frame that pushed me over the edge to speak on that virtual stage was my legacy.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night with regret.

Sure, I was afraid of holding the mic and being judged by others online for my voice. But the fear of regret — of not doing it — terrified me even more.

So I did it.

And I did not die.

But if I did, I would’ve died doing what I love.

Please name a better way to die. I’ll wait.

The Fear-Setting Exercise (How To Turn Your Fears To Mush)

Everyone wants to be the main character of their story, but no one acts like one.

Most people don’t even act like the supporting cast.

They’re NPCs.

They’re the characters who remain the same from the first scene to the movie’s finale. This isn’t a bad thing. NPCs are necessary stepping stones for the plot to progress.

But if you’re reading things, I imagine you don’t want to be an NPC.

Because unlike in the movies, real-life NPCs don’t remain the same. Instead, thanks to entropy, they decay subtly into the antithesis of who they dreamed of becoming.

The future self they ordered at age 7: Wise. Jacked. Happy. Wealthy.

What they got: Idiot. Skinny/Obese. Depressed. Poor.

God didn’t create you to be a stepping stone. That job is reserved for the lower tiers of living creatures — those designed solely to focus on survival.

You are not a wild animal.

You were created to do much more than only survive.

You were born to thrive — to explore, achieve mastery, and improve your fellow humans’ lives.

Everything you want in life is on the other side of your fears.

Pushing past them isn’t easy. But, like anything challenging, it’s easy to do when you have the relevant system.

This is where the Fear-setting exercise comes in.

The Fear Setting Exercise was created by Tim Ferriss in 2004, who was previously a fellow Scaredy Cat.

Since its creation, he’s used this system to…

• write 5 best-selling books, selling millions of copies

• achieve a net worth of $100,000,000

• and become one of the most notable thought leaders in entrepreneurship

The Fear Setting Exercise includes only five questions.

Q1: What is the worst thing that will happen if I do the thing I’m afraid of?

Fear is potent negative energy. Like all negative forces, its power lies in the dark.

To put this into perspective for my anime folks, think of Tokoyami’s Dark Shadow in My Hero Academia — decent combat ability under the sun but crazy powerful under the moonlight.

This question brings fear into the light, a territory where it has little to no power over you.

Q2: What can I do to prevent each of the worst-case scenarios from happening?

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. But if you plan well and follow your plan, the odds of getting smacked by the money-maker are low. This question helps prevent your nightmares from arising, easing your worrying mind.

Q3: If the worst-case scenario happened, what can I do to repair it?

This question helps you tell your fear:

“You’re right. I might fail. But if I do, here’s what I’ll do to keep moving. Anything else?”

This is also called a Plan B. Many people today think Plan Bs are for the weak, but ironically, the select few with Plan Bs are truly strong.

Q4: What are the benefits of a partial attempt or success?

Humans are suckers for rewards. This question reminds you of the utility of moving despite the fear and what you stand to lose through inaction.

Q5: If I don’t do what scares me, what would my life look like in 6 months, 1 year, and 3 years?

Every short-term action you take leads to long-term consequences. This question helps you keep that top of mind, conquer your fear, and achieve your dreams.

I take 15 minutes each time I’m super scared of something to run through this exercise. And I’ve never felt afraid after that, so try it yourself.

Meditating for 15-30 minutes each day also helps. Science says daily meditation reduces the amygdala (the fear-producing centre of the brain). A smaller amygdala means less anxiety. So start meditating today.

Winners and losers have fears.

Winners just bypass them.

I hope this helps you join the winning team.

And as always, I’m rooting for you.

— Francis

Before my cohort launches in July, I’m looking for 7 “impatient” creators who want to work with me 1-on-1 to build an audience and income around their innate interests in 4 weeks.

If that sounds like you, reply to this email with your Twitter username, and I’ll message you shortly after.